Traveling with Americans

This week, I have been doing some day trips with my sister, my mother and Ted while the kids are at school. We’re returning to some of the places that I have visited before, so it’s been a bit of a highlights tour for me, though it has been different to see some of these places without kids in tow. On Monday, we visited Stirling Castle again, and this time we joined up with a guided tour of the castle, which would have been way too long for Emma and John to tolerate. The guide here was a well-informed young Scotswoman with a Highlands accent and pink hair (the latter gave away her nationality more than the former, of course!) who presented a fairly balanced history of the castle mixed with a bit of Scottish nationalism when recounting stories of the Battle of Flodden. I thought the tour was fabulous, though I was thankful that the kids weren’t there to hear it—I can’t imagine

Emma enjoying the guide’s story of William Wallace making a sword belt out of the skin of Hugh de Cressingham, or the story of the quilt that hangs at the front of the chapel to honor the 16 schoolchildren, all friends of the tour guide, killed in 1996 in a murder-suicide at the primary school in nearby Dunblane.

On Tuesday, we took Emma with us on a tour of Aberdour Castle, then Linlithgow Palace—both places that she had thoroughly enjoyed the first time around. During this visit, we had plenty of time to investigate all the nooks and crannies in Linlithgow, and Emma thoroughly enjoyed having her photo taken in every fireplace she could find. At both places, the employees of Historic Scotland were very friendly, and at Aberdour the

woman gave Emma a trivia sheet to fill in as we went around the castle, which ended up being just as instructive for all of us as it was for her. For lunch, we went to Four Marys Pub in the village of Linlithgow, where Ted had some more haggis (this time in Balmoral Chicken) and Emma and my sister had “macaroni cheese” made with Mull of Kintyre Cheddar…a dish that is guaranteed to make one swear off Kraft for the rest of one’s life.

On Wednesday, we took the train into Edinburgh, and after arriving at Waverly Station, walked right to the castle. I had visited with the Colgate students in February, when we were practically the only group there, and the few other visitors were all Scottish or English. This time, since tourist season has begun, I noticed right away that almost all the other visitors were American—I think I heard more American accents yesterday than I have in all the previous five months combined. As I walked around the castle, I began to notice how the American accent can often be

incredibly nasal-y and American speech is constantly peppered with words such as “stuff” and “like.” I was also appalled to overhear several things coming from the mouths of Americans that were downright ridiculous. One young college student said to her friend, “OK, I’m all been-there-done-that with Edinburgh Castle now! This blows!” As I was standing in line in the exhibit about prisoners of war held in Edinburgh Castle during the various wars and entered the room about the American Revolution, an American student was pointing out a portrait of George Washington to his German companion, and said something along the lines of, “Dude, there’s the MAN!” His companion asked if George Washington was the person on the American ten-dollar bill, and the American said no…that was Alexander Hamilton. The companion then asked who Alexander Hamilton was, and the American said something along the lines of this: “Oh, well, he was a politician? And maybe an economist? I can’t remember for sure. But he was in a really cool duel with someone else where I think he shot first? Or maybe the other guy shot him? And then he died? I can’t remember for sure, but I think he was a politician. Or at least he was pretty important?” The German just nodded his head and said, “Ah…I see…and perhaps that’s why he’s on American currency then…” Indeed.

The worst instance, though, came as we were standing in line to see the Honours of Scotland (the Scottish crown jewels…a crown, scepter and sword of state, along with the Stone of Destiny). Just ahead of us, an older American woman had sidled up to a guard standing in front of the large, spotlighted case holding the honours, and asked him in a twangy accent: “Are these the REAL crown jewels?” He launched in an explanation (which I found quite interesting, actually) about how some of the crown jewels at the Tower of London are actually replicas, because the real things are often in use, so for logistical purposes they display replicas, whereas the Honours of Scotland are not used as much (the crown is used at the opening of the Scottish Parliament, but the sword and scepter are too fragile to be moved). The woman patiently listened to his explanation, then sighed and said, “Oh, well then I have to say that I’m quite disappointed!” He gave her a puzzled look, and she continued, “I mean, there’s all this build-up about them, you know? You go through all these rooms that tell about the history of them, you know, and how important they are and stuff, but when you see them, they’re definitely underwhelming. I mean, like, I would have thought that they would have been absolutely covered in jewels and stuff, you know?” The guard gave her a steady look, then turned to his co-worker and said simply, “I’m going on break,” and promptly left.