The One Month Mark

Today is the last day of our first month in Scotland, and to mark the occasion, I’m thinking about all the things that I have come to appreciate about living here. Rather than dwelling on the things I miss about the States (Ziploc bags, mostly, but also the ability to buy painkillers in quantities of more than eight at a time…) I’m going to think about the things I do like. Also, my friend and former classmate at Notre Dame Julia Harris has nominated me for a “Stylish Blogger” award (Thanks Julia!), and while I don’t believe it’s a contest (or at least am hoping it is not, since my little travelogue can in no way compare to her well-considered, pithy and oft-updated Mirrored Images blog), it does present a few requirements, one of which is to present seven things about yourself. So, in that spirit, I’m presenting:

Seven Things I Now Appreciate About Scotland:

1. It’s always “time for tea” here. Apparently, lunch is still often called “dinner,” so dinner is sometimes referred to as teatime. As far as I can tell, though, people are “stopping for a spot of tea” anytime from about ten a.m. until just before bedtime. And most of the sugary-sweet snacks at the grocery store carry some kind of product advert on the packaging that mentions how the product is the perfect accompaniment to tea. So, “tea time” officially seems to be code around here for “taking a break,” especially a high-caloric one. And who can find fault with a country that endorses that?

2. It’s acceptable to end a conversation with a “cheerio” here. And you are expected to do it with a straight face.

3. The weather here is great. It’s warmer here every day than it has been in southern cities like Atlanta and Tulsa this winter. And yes, Scotland gets a bit of rain, but they get a whole lot of sun every day too. I now realize that the Brits are just pretending that their weather is horrible so the entire East Coast of the United States doesn’t suddenly decide to winter here.

4. Roundabouts make a whole lot of sense once you get used to them, and they are actually quite simple. Here’s the deal: approach, look to the right, and if a car is not within ten feet of you to the right, then speed right on through. No muss, no fuss, and certainly no waiting--and never any red lights. This town of over 15,000 people has, as far as I can tell, three traffic lights, and they are ALL for pedestrians. As a result, I have spent zero time idling in my car at a red light in the last month. Of course, since it costs about $100 to fill up the tank on our sub-compact car, that’s probably a really good thing…

5. Squash. No, it’s not a vegetable. It’s a completely sugar-free, additive-laced, brightly colored fake syrupy substance sold by the litre bottle that comes in flavors like “marshmallow” and “tropical fruit,” that, once added to water, makes it completely drinkable. Plus, it leaves a wicked fruit-punch smile-shaped stain on the lips, making it very difficult for someone who has just taken a big swig to try to intimidate with that British accent!

6. Channel 4. Like the BBC, Channel 4 is apparently “a public service broadcaster.” Their definition of public service, then, is a bit different than mine. When I first came upon it, I was quite shocked by many of its “oh no they didn’t” programs. The adverts for the programs make them seem more shocking than they really are, however. “Beauty and the Beast” is billed as an unscripted clash between a person who is addicted to cosmetically enhancing themselves in some way and a person who is facially disfigured. Phew. In actuality, it’s a poignant portrayal of how the first group of people (wait for it…) aren’t nearly as happy with their appearance as the second group. I must admit that I am currently addicted to “Big Fat Gypsy Wedding,” which bills itself as a “documentary” about the extravagant celebrations of the traveller community in the UK, yet is really about the way that girls in the community are both revered and mistreated. Some of their other (and to me, less appealing) shows include “I Was Bin Laden’s Bodyguard,” “The Joy of Teen Sex” and finally “Booze: A Young Person’s Guide.” Public service indeed!

7. The firm belief shared by all Brits that “if it’s broke, Jamie Oliver can fix it.” Americans remember this guy as the “Naked Chef.” Here in Britain, he’s Rachel Ray, Michelle Obama and Ty Pennington all mixed into one ubiquitous television personality. He’s single-handedly remaking the British school dinner system by removing the sugar and refined flour and adding in veg and whole grains, while whipping up delicious 30 minute dinners in front of TV viewers across the land. He has apparently convinced the British Prime Minister to pledge £280 million to improve school dinners in the UK, and Morrison’s to devote 75% of every magazine rack to his publications. His shows include (and this is not an exhaustive list…) Jamie’s Kitchen, Jamie’s Food Revolution, Jamie Does, Jamie’s American Road Trip, Jamie Cooks Christmas, Jamie Saves Our Bacon, Jamie’s School Dinners, Jamie’s Return to School Dinners…you get the idea. And now, he’s tackling the school system itself with Dream School, a documentary (on Channel 4 of course!) where a handful of teenagers who have just dropped out of high school return to learn from an American-reality-show-worthy collection of figures: Olympic athletes, TV personalities, Simon Callow, and the guy that invented in vitro fertilization.

So, there’s my list…my seven reasons why it’s not too bad to live in Scotland. Now, if they would only start to sell Hidden Valley Ranch instead of all this “salad cream”…